Introduce a referendum on Capital Punishment and the names of everyone who votes for it are recorded on little balls inside a huge lottery machine. Every time a miscarriage of justice occurs and an innocent person dies, then the lottery machine produces a winner at random. The winner will then be executed to redress the balance. The execution could be televised and called “National Lottery- An Eye For An Eye”. I’d like to see someone with a hint of mischief host it, someone who’d probably make an inappropriate joke with the victim. Michael Barrymore, maybe.
Miscarriages of justice with multiple executions would be like a rollover with multiple winners, imagine the excitement to see if you were going to be lucky that night. The odds would probably better than 14 million to 1. And not only would you get fifteen minutes of fame but your thirst for murderous retribution would be satisfied in full.
I’m going to phone Channel Five in the morning.
These notes were originally published on 19 April, 2008 at theraffishdandy.wordpress.com
