Yesterday morning while I was having a refreshing early morning shower there came a knock at my front door. I reached across to open the window as I could see through the patterned glass that it was the postman delivering some much-needed Wilson Anti-Slice golf balls ad was keen for him to wait.
Our windowsill is the best part of eighteen inches wide and so to open the window fully I had to lean quite far. As wicked misfortune would have it my wet size five feet slipped at just this moment and I landed with full force upon this:
This item entered my armpit and sliced its way through to the back of my collarbone only failing to cut its way out of the other side because my supple skin retains the elasticity of youth. It simply bulged out instead giving me the appearance of a man growing a second head.
Now I've never stabbed myself in the armpit with an electric toothbrush before and so I wasn't entirely up-to-speed with the usual procedure for dealing with such an occurrence. I simply chose to pull it out.
Those of you who are familiar with the technical specifications of the Oral B Vitality Dual-Clean electric toothbrush will be aware that it is equipped with a detachable head. Half-wit that I am, I didn't pull the toothbrush back out I merely detached its head.
And so it came to pass that I spent yesterday afternoon under general anaesthetic undergoing an operation to remove the detachable head of an electric toothbrush from inside my shoulder. I have been told that I will have to be in hospital for a couple more days yet- presumably so that none of the nursing teams miss out on the chance to take the piss out of me. But it is of some consolation to know that I can at least rely upon you, my friends, not to laugh.
Thank you for your sympathy. Here is an X-Ray of my toothbrush and shoulder in glorious monochrome:
